10 Questions To Ask People You Don't Know At A Dinner Party
One of the most stressful things to me about entering into a new situation (like a dinner party) is not knowing what to say to people. Sure I can stick to the “oh what a beautiful table!” comment or do the “so what do you do?” routine, but it all feels so generic and can get really old after awhile.
Small talk can be the death of a dinner party. It’s where the promise of an engaging atmosphere can come to a halt if you’re not careful. As a host, that’s why I almost always have conversation questions set at each place. I never want the conversation to feel forced, but I do want to guide it into a more meaningful experience. But what if your host doesn’t have conversation questions (which is totally fine and most often the case) or what if there is a long mingling time before dinner? How can you, as a guest, communicate intentionally and meaningfully with other guests, especially those you don’t know?
Below are some questions designed to foster that exact type of conversation. These are meant to be asked after you have covered the basics (what’s your name, where are you from, etc.) or if you are bold enough, you can start with these right off the bat!
What was something from this past week that made you smile? Why did it make you so happy?
Why did you decide to come to this gathering?
If you could sum up your life lately in a pun (or phrase), what would it be and why?
Has there been a conversation or interaction you’ve had with someone recently that left a lasting impression on you? Why do you think it stands out to you?
Is there something coming up on your calendar that you are looking forward to? If so, what is it about that particular thing that you are most excited about?
What is something small you have done lately that you are proud of?
If you were not at this gathering right now, what would you be doing?
What is your favorite part about this current season? (could be a season of life or calendar season)
Do you come to these types of gatherings often? If so, what do you enjoy the most about them?
Are you looking forward to doing anything in particular tomorrow? If so what is it and why are you looking forward to it? And if not, if you could do anything you wanted tomorrow, what would it be and why?
These conversation starters are meant to be just that, starters. They are designed to ask follow up questions and give you a solid foundation for digging deeper. For instance you can follow up #9 with “Do you prefer to be the host or guest at these types of gatherings? Why?” or transition #6 into sharing a story about what they did and how.
Now obviously, not everyone will be game to answer deep questions, and that’s ok! Some people are shy, some people may have had a bad day, and others spend all day talking to people so the very reason they are at this party may be to just enjoy the quiet simplicity of gathering.
So be mindful of the other guests' attitudes and responses when presenting them with these questions. But in my experience, most people are flattered that someone wants to genuinely get to know them! And these types of conversations are what bridges the gap from strangers to friends (which is typically why most people go to a gathering in the first place). Plus it can just never hurt to have some questions in your pocket in case you’re having a hard time connecting or the conversation lulls!
P.S. Every Friday on our Insta Stories, we have a “Conversation Question of the Day” that is specifically designed for you to ask wherever you plan to gather over the weekend. So if you’re ever short on questions feel free to reference our “conversation starters” highlight :)